Turbeaux Unfortunately, the child was allergic to peanuts and had vertigo issues that made hopscotch-playing nearly impossible.
DarthedDroids Unfortunately all this playing made him tired and therefore suffered seizures when sleeping.
Turbeaux Fortunately, there was a peanut shortage so the child did not have to worry about his/her allergy.
Peninsular Unfortunately, the truck with the last truckload of peanuts crashed right in front of the boy.
Ypogegrammeni Fortunately, an epoxy tanker lost control while trying to avoid the peanuts and spilled its load, sealing the dangerous allergens safely away.
Turbeaux Fortunately, the tanker had been kept outside in the rain so long that the child's head smashed right through the rust-seiged metal.
Kozmix Unfortunately the tanker exploded and now he is dazed and confused because of the bright flash
DarthedDroids Fortunately the bear, previously unnoticed in all of the confusion, gives the child soothing lotion for his burns.
Turbeaux Unfortunately, the "soothing lotion" was a musky glandular substance that scared people and animals away from the child.
DarthedDroids Fortunately it does not scare away fairies, who took notice of the child and decided to help it.
DarthedDroids Fortunately they only suckled on plants and were perfectly willing to help the child with his third-degree burns
Esterild Unfortunately, it turns out that the child was a girl, and in return for healing her, the fairies required her to become betrothed to the sinister Fairy King.
